Beware of the "rescue" huskies

I just wanted to tell everyone about a recent experience I had. One of my step brothers decided that he wanted to be Alpha in the house.

Yes, the humans are "suppose" to be the alphas, but come on, look how ill equiped they are to handle that job. They cut their food with knives! They use tools to dig holes! They actually come back when the door is opened (which is a good thing actually, since I can't get the food bin open... yet).

Step brothers and sisters, especially those that are "rescued" are a danger to our culture! They come into the home, all thankful and gooey, blabbing about the HORRIBLE conditions they use to live in, and how could I be so ungrateful to the humans that took them in.

They cuddle with the humans and do what the humans tell them to do (most of the time), give paw when told, take up most of my bed and generally inconvenience me.

Sure, they're fun to play with (when I deem it time to play), but I was here first (the old husky doesn't count, he's retired), so its MY house, MY rules and I'M the ALPHA!

So I'm fine when the two step brothers go after it, arguing over stupid things like the water bowl. They know to stand back when I want a drink, so if they want to rip each other to shreds, then that's more food and water for me. But if they bump into me when they're arguing... watch out!

So Loki, the mutant pawed suck up, decided he was in charge, so I had to set him straight and mounted him. Since the unfortunate surgery that ruined my career, I've gained some weight, but I'm not fat! I just happen to weigh a bit more than he does, and pile drove him into the ground, but it's not because I'm fat, he's just scrawny and mutated.

The human male yelled at me! AT ME! Can you believe that? Loki played it up, looked all pathetic squashed underneath me, wagging his tail, sucking up to the human male.

I simply can't understand how they expect me to run this house when they won't let me take charge.