Saturday, December 31, 2005

2005 In Review

As the new year approaches (I'll be asleep for that unless the old Nova dog has to go out and pee), I thought I would look back at the year 2005 and write about some of the highlights.

Probably the biggest thing that DIDN'T happen in 2005 was that the humans didn't adopt any other gimpy dogs to suck away all of my attention or bed space.

I went to the vet a few times for general maintenance things, no injuries that I can recall. Its hard to get injured when all you do is lay around and look cute and fluffy though.

The humans took me to Starbucks and Petsmart a few times, especially when the old guy Nova got really sick that one time. It was just guilt visits though, since they stopped that the moment he got better. (Note to self: tell old guy Nova to play sickly again so I get to go places).

I got to go to a park once where the human woman wouldn't let me chase and eat squirrels. She's really no fun.

No escapes accomplished, I'm ashamed to say.

We got a new deck to run around, but the humans put up that impenatrable gate (damn them) so we can't run up and down the stairs when we want to. We also got some tasty cardboard thanks to the new deck.

Loki and Sam and I killed some small animals that had wandered into the yard, including a snake, which totally weirded out the human woman.

I napped, I ate, I looked adorable (as usual). There were countless hours of skittering, screeching, clawing, and generally driving the humans insane, which is always fun.

Oh, today is apparently Polya's birthday, happy birthday Polya. Loki got to meet Polya at some rescue thing the humans took him to, and not me. Back then he was a puppy, and from what Loki describes, a rather spoiled puppy who hated his crate and screamed and screamed when his mistress put him in it. He's apparently grown into quite the handsome husky.

So in all, 2005 was just pretty boring actually. In 6 days I will turn 5 years old! I'm hoping that the humans are planning a really big surprise party for me, and maybe invite some of the friends I've made through my HULA (Husky United Liberation Army) activities, but I doubt it. I'm holding out hope for some tasty raw meat instead, since having other huskies here would only take away from MY special day. I plan on being the center of attention (one way or another).

So everyhusky, have a happy new year, don't drink too much, and if your humans went out to celebrate and come home drunk, remember, its the perfect time to escape, get some good food they leave out, or at the very least, make their lives miserable by bouncing on them bright and early in the morning and demanding something.

Meeshka

Friday, December 30, 2005

I am Regal

After a rough day of playing, clawing the human woman, and just being cute and fluffy, I spend some time guarding my yard.



Even though my yard is surrounded by a really high fence that obstructs my view of the world, things can get into my yard, like pesky squirrels that need to be killed and eaten, or possums, which we had trapped on the top of the fence once, but the human woman wouldn't let us kill and eat it. We've caught rats coming into the yard, they are tasty and squeek too. Birds just come and go, but the one thing that has yet to come into my yard are the geese.

I HATE the geese! They honk! They taunt me from the sky and I hate them. I stomp my feet at them and woo and dare them to come into my yard so I can show them who is boss... ME!

I also have to be on the watch for tasty branches that fall from the trees. I like the smaller branches to break apart and chew on. Loki prefers the branches that are bigger than he is, he drags them around and taunts us with them. I just lay there, its not worth my time to chase him, so Sam will chase him, wear him out, then I'll pounce and steal the stick while they are wrestling.

The human woman continues to give us raw buffalo meat in our food, which makes me suspicious. What is she up to?

My birthday is coming up in a week, and if we're getting raw buffalo in our food, I bet my birthday treat will be extra special... for an extra special fluffy husky like me!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

More Cardboard Tasties

The human woman stayed home to work today, and since it was nice outside, she kicked us out to enjoy the lovely day.

To huskies, a lovely day is 10 feet of snow and really cold, but oh no... not here... it was like 50 and sunny, which is not a perfect day for a husky who is as fluffy as I am.

Since there was no snow to frolic and play in, we decided to check out some of the more interesting spots in the thawed yard and found a nice spot to dig. We thought the humans had dug up all of that tasty cardboard, but we were wrong! We found another spot near the concrete where they had neglected to get it all, so we proceeded to excavate underneath the cement slab for tasty bits of soggy cardboard.

Now generally, if you're doing something devious, you should have the presence of mind to come when the human woman calls us in. If you don't come, she'll come out and see why you aren't coming, and that generally means that the fun is over. Sam, the suck up, ran inside when she called, but Loki didn't. That meant that I had to stay, because if I left, the Loki would get all of the tasty soggy cardboard.

Another tip is to not look very interested in something. If the human woman says in that suspicious voice "what are you doing?", you should just stare into the yard, not really looking at anything, stop whatever digging or eating of dead things you are doing, and just stare into the distance. If you stop and stare into the distance, the humans will think that you are just ignoring them as usual. If you continue digging or eating the dead thing, they'll see that you are up to something and come stop your fun. Loki didn't stop digging, as a matter of fact, only his butt and tail were visible, this immediately sent the human woman running to stop our fun by placing these flat, very heavy square stone things over our dig spot.

We immediately investigated the area where the big square stone things came from, hoping she had removed them from another good place to dig, but she didn't... just concrete there... rats.

On a good note, other than I was able to wash my delicate feet in the water bowl, the human woman gave us something called buffalo meat in our food tonight. It was very tasty, and the bag looked pretty full so there's a chance we'll get more.

I do suspect foul play though. For some reason, after we eat, Loki and I go outside, but Nova and Sam don't want to. When I beat on the door and scream to come back inside to see what is going on, the two of them look all innocent, but I distinctly smell potato chips on their breath. I think there's a conspiracy going on.

Meeshka

Monday, December 26, 2005

Can't a Husky Take a Nap?



So, I'm on the bed, taking a nap. Here comes the obnoxious human woman with the camera. Apparently I'm so cute and fluffy that she can't resist flashing that painful light in my eyes and capturing my cute and fluffiness.



I admit, I'm cute and fluffy, but even cute and fluffy huskies need to be left alone once in a while. I can't help it that I'm naturally cute and fluffy, that no matter how I sit, stand, or lay, I'm just so darn irresistable, but please!

Famous people have the same problem from what I hear, but they can get a restraining order against those paparazzi people. How can I possibly get a restraining order against the human woman. She's the one that feeds me and everything.

I guess I'll just put up with her inconveniences so I can get fed and let out. The things I do just to get what I deserve.

Meeshka

Sunday, December 25, 2005

A Pretty Good Day

Except for the old dog Nova waking us up in the wee hours to go wee, we pretty much all slept in.
The human man made us breakfast, he wanted to let the human woman sleep in (something about a holiday today), but we insisted that she at least walk to the kitchen with us before we would go eat. Its our own little torture for her.

Nova has decided that he won't let the human woman sleep in anymore, he demands that she get up and sit in the computer chair, then he'll curl up and go to sleep behind it. If the human woman tries to sneak back to bed, he wakes up and woos at her until she goes and sits in the chair.

We told Nova we'd give him some of our treats if he did that. Its funny that
A.) he's actually doing it, and
B.) believes we would give him some of our treats.

Silly old dog. This meant that we got more room in the bed because the human woman wasn't cluttering it up, she was stuck in the chair with the old dog.

It was a miserable day today, cold rain all DAY! I don't like cold rain, it gets my delicate feet all wet and muddy. The human woman would let us out, then we'd sit under the house overhang and wait patiently for her to let us back in. We got toweled off a lot, and she wiped off my delicate and dainty little feet for me, so she's worth some good I guess.

They made another one of those really big turkey birds in the oven today and didn't share. They said something about having bad things in it that would make us sick, but I don't believe them, they're just selfish.

They DID put raw meat in our food though, so I forgive them for lying about the dangerous turkey they cooked. I think I even saw a bag that had more of the raw meat in it for us for tomorrow, so that'll be a cool treat again.

We're all pretty much full and tired now. We didn't get much "outside" time because of the icky rain, but we managed to do some playing in the house. Sam and Loki got in a snit earlier because Sam got too close to one of Loki's pee towels. The humans weren't too pleased about that and took away the nasty pee towel (thankfully).

I've spent most of the day being extremely cute and fluffy (as always) and that does tend to wear me down. I think I'll sprawl out under the computer table and twitch my dainty feet and dream of tomorrow's tasty treat meal.

Happy Howlidays

Oh, I heard from the human woman that two lucky huskies got pulled from a shelter and got to spend Christmas in a real home with real people, which is very nice... as long as they don't eventually end up here, sucking away all of my attention.

Meeshka

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Christmas Eve

Twas the night before christmas, and all through MY house
not a husky was stirring, not even Loki the mutatoe.
No stockings were hung, we don't have a chimney,
but we hoped we'd get something good to eat at least.

The human man in his robe, the human woman in her sleepy pants
were hogging the computers as usual and not paying any attention to us.
When from the yard there arose such a barking,
its the neighbors yippy dog... we need to kill him, he's so obnoxious.

So, just another typical night full of fur, and not enough attention or food
Merry Christmas to all of you huskies and other dogs...

Tomorrow we better get some turkey, or you'll really hear about it!

Meeshka
(I don't rhyme very well, its too much work)

Friday, December 23, 2005

I don't have a problem, I can stop any time I want



The human woman thinks I have a problem. She thinks I'm addicted to eating used Kleenex and can't stop.



Sure, they're tasty, especially the used ones. Loki just snags a clean one right out of the box and rips it up for fun, but I actually eat them... but only the used ones. I like the used ones.

The human woman says that if I ever try to escape, she could call me back by simply blowing her nose. Haha, she's so funny... ok, maybe she's right, I can't resist.

The human woman has been sneezing a lot this morning, so there's been a lot of goodies that she's been hiding from me. I've climbed into her lap trying to get to them, she hides them from me in her robe pocket until she puts them in the safe can. She is cruel, she changed the easy to get into safe can for a much larger impossible to get into safe can.

What's wrong with a little fiber in my diet? I don't see a problem here and I should get as many as I want. Come on, she doesn't feed us chewy rawhides, or greenies, or other treats on a regular basis, so what's wrong with a kleenex here or there?

I see it as my way of recycling, doing my part for nature... but I don't have a problem.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

This is not my happy face



There are people digging in MY yard!

I can see them through the fence slats and smell them. There are humans with their pathetic shovels digging in MY front yard! I couldn't believe it!



I stomped my delicate feet and woo'd to tell them to stop this very instant, but they kept digging. I banged on the screen door to alert the human woman, because I was certain that she would race out there and scold them like she scolds us when we dig, but she told me that it was ok what they were doing.

HUMANS DIGGING IN MY YARD IS NOT OK!

I spent most of the day trying to explain to these pathetic digging humans that they weren't flinging the dirt far enough from the hole, that they should just use their hands and feet like they were meant to be used and put down those pathetic tools, and then looked with disbelief when they fiddled with something in the hole, THEN COVERED IT UP!

Can you believe that? They filled in a perfectly good hole! It doesn't even look like they were digging there, there's no proof of digging!

I just don't understand these humans at all. I get scolded because I dig a very good hole under the deck stairs, and yet strange humans come in MY front yard and dig a hole and nothing happens to them. They dig and dig and then cover it up. What good is a covered up hole? They didn't sleep in the hole, they didn't pick grubs out of the hole and eat them. NOTHING!

Sigh. For the life of me, I just can't figure them out at all.

Meeshka

Monday, December 19, 2005

The evil eye



The human woman says that I have a "look". I have no idea what she's talking about. She claims that she can tell how I act that I have to go potty, she's a nutcase.



Ok, granted, I get a little rough when I have to go outside, and I do tend to run around really fast if I have a certain need that has to be taken care of (wouldn't you if you were dependent upon someone opening a door in order for you to do your business?)

We just got done with a rousing game of riccochet queen of the bed. I always win. The object of the game is to allow me to win, and I get the bed. Loki tries to pull me off the bed, but he's really puny and is just annoying. He'll get me in a head lock, and I'll just lay there, humoring him, then I'll whip around and scare the crap out of him. He's thrown himself off the bed trying to get away from my pretty teeth. Sam knows better, he just stands at the foot of the bed and barks at me. He's no fool.

Once I have the entire bed, I'll skitter around and mess up the covers, because that drives the human woman nuts. She had the gall to laugh at me today, because she put the slippery cover on the bed, and when I jumped on the bed, I slid right off of it. I made her pay for her laughter with a swipe of my finely honed claws. Nobody laughs at me!

I would also like to point out that it is December, and I still haven't gotten my horrible skin allergy thing. I attribute it to the fact that I'm demanding to be let out to lay on the cool ground more than usual.

Speaking of which, even though I just came back in, I want to be let out again. Time to claw the human woman and make the "I want" noise.

Meeshka
Queen of the bed.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Where's MY Snow?

I'm highly disappointed in the amount of snow in this area. Either we get tons of it, or we get nothing. So far we've gotten NOTHING.

Oh sure, we got a dusting of snow a week or so ago. We were suppose to get more snow, but that turned into rain, which washed whatever snow we had away. Its downright muddy in our yard, perfect for digging, but digging is summer fun, we want snow to play in.

I just looked at weather.com (the human woman bookmarks it for me so I don't have to type with my razor sharp claws), and there was a winter weather warning! Oh goody! That means SNOW!

Oh no. It was a warning that a storm was coming, but we weren't getting anything. What kind of warning is that? Watch out for the storm that won't hit you! We interupt this broadcast to say nothing is going to happen.

I want SNOW! I'm a husky, I need to have snow! Granted, this year I didn't get my annual skin allergy break out, which I'm thankful for, I don't like to be itchy, but this lack of snow is disturbing! How can I possible body slam Loki or Sam in a snow pile without snow? How can I dig a little sleepy nook in the snow and pretend that I'm a sled dog? I don't actually want to BE a sled dog, because that requires me to work, pull a sled, and not sleep on a comfy bed at night, but its nice to pretend.

One thing I don't miss is the silly human woman making snowballs and throwing them. I try to find the evil snow balls and kill them, but they just disappear in the snow and I can't find them. I get mad at her for doing this and knock her down in the snow. She thinks that's funny, even when I stomp on her.

So, to all of those weather people that have freaked out about the big snow of the year... then nothing happens... I shed on you! Bring me some snow right this instant!

Meeshka
(snowless in December)

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Happy Birthday Woo

Sorry every husky, short posting tonight.

Due to the fact that the humans are now very skittish about the old guy's needs after the poo tsunami, we all got very little sleep. The old guy would move and they'd be jumping up to check on him. Sigh.

For everyone that was worried, he's perfectly fine. After all the hoopla, he came inside, curled up on a towel and slept through the night, which is more sleep than we all got, waiting for the next poo wave.

I just wanted to send a big woo to Tia, Queen of the Butter Club, as it is her birthday.

Happy Birthday Tia.

yawn

Meeshka

Monday, December 12, 2005

A Very Interesting Night

Nova at 16 years old


So last night we went to bed as usual. After our final "out" for "pee-pee final" (idiot human woman and her double words), we gathered in the bedroom for our ritual bed time treats (or treat treats... sigh).

I'm snuggled at the foot of the human woman, who is contorted and folded to allow me my required space, Loki is sprawled on her, laughing that he's got a bony elbow in her ribs again. Sam has managed a spot at the human man's feet, Nova is on his big cushy pillow as usual... except Nova needed to go out.

Nova (who you should know by now) is 16 years old, which is 112 in human years or some nonsense. Among other problems, his biggest issue right now is a tumor growing in his ass which makes it difficult for him to poop. I feel bad for the old guy. To help him poo, the human woman gives him this tasty liquid that softens his stool, something Loki discovered one day after stealing some of Nova's food and paying for it dearly a few hours later.

After some grumbling, the human man took Nova out, but we weren't moving. We knew it was a human trick to get us to move and they would take over our spots, so we stayed where we were.

Soon, the human man came back with Nova, and announced that he had "done his business" and we could go to bed. Great, I need my beauty rest.

No sooner did the human man get into bed and Nova started yelling to go out again. Like I said, he's old, so he yells loudly. Frustrated, the humans told him to go bed-bed (I swear...), and in response, Nova let blast with what could best be described as a tsunami of diarrhea.

It sounded like plastic being wadded up and a bucket of slop hitting the walls and floor, wave upon wave of diarrhea came out of that old dog. Sam, Loki, and I lay frozen, afraid to move.

The humans jumped up aghast, turned on the light to reveal a flood of poo on the floor, wall, in the vent where I normally lay (thank heavens I was on the bed). The human man began escorting the old guy out of the bedroom, and you could hear him yell at each new blast of goo as they made their way down the hall, down the stairs.

The human woman tried to gather paper towels and toilet paper, we stayed on the bed. The poo and the carpet were the same color, no way were we getting off that bed. Just then, in his hurry to escort the poo spewing old guy out to the back yard, the human man forgot to turn the alarm off, and the shrieking alarm started. The human woman rushed off, tip-toeing through the poo to shut the alarm off, the human man yelling as he dodged more firehose poo. We stayed on the bed.

Finally, the alarm was shut off, the steam cleaners and spray cleaners were brought out, and an hour later, while we stayed on the bed, the carpets were shampooed or thrown out, towels were lay down in case of another gastro-intestinal attack, and we all went back to bed.

I really needed to go out after all that excitement, but there's no way I was going to ask.

Meeshka (the bedroom smells nice and clean now)

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Holiday Etiquette Husky Style

A human recently posted to the human group what appeared to be a husky explaining to other huskies about the human holidays. I just wanted to point out this blatant attempt to get us to behave the way they want us to. I am also sure that if you looked this up on that hoax web site it would show that it was not written by a husky, or a dog, but by a human. They're so feeble in their attempts to fool us.

I'll put the fake e-mail in quotes, then respond:

"Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans and wet sloppy kisses."

Um, right, first of all, they'll get what we give them, when we feel like giving it to them, but most importantly, if they're more stressed than usual, this is the perfect time to plot an escape! They'll be forgetful as they carry in their bags of human goodies and leave the door unguarded, or leave things out in the open for us to inspect and destroy. Use this opportunity to carry out maximum destruction!

"Your humans may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that ALL the gifts are yours."

Now see, this is how you know this wasn't written by a husky! All large bags coming into the house, gift or not, DO belong to us huskies, plain and simple. If it comes into OUR house, then it is OUR thing.

"Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers."

Once again, written from a human mind control perspective. Oooh, please do it for us because we're simple and feeble and these demeaning dress up sessions comfort us and give us pleasure. My fluffy presence should be enough to give you pleasure without the need to put antlers on my head!


"The humans may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it's an important ritual for your humans so there are some things you need to know:"

My humans don't do this. The one good thing about the human woman is that she doesn't kill trees, she lets them live so we can pee on them.


"Don't pee on that tree!"

No, trees are made to pee on, therefore if a tree appears in your house, it is clearly a sign that your humans agree that forcing you out into the cold and rain is undogly and have given you a nice indoor bathroom much like they have for themselves. Knock yourself out and pee.

"Don't drink water from the container that holds that tree!"

A water container is a water container and should be used for drinking. Its not our fault that the humans have some hang up about drinking from the big white porcelan bowl in the bathroom, or out of the tub.

"Mind your tail when you are near that tree!"

I'm not quite sure what the sneaky human that wrote this means about minding our tails near the tree. Is it to keep us from using it as a device to knock down all the senseless and non-playable balls they hang up there? Wag away, I say.

"If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open!"

Why not? You put stuff on the floor under a pee tree and you expect us NOT to rip them to shreds? Are you kidding me?

"The ornaments hanging from the tree are NOT dog toys."

Which makes this holiday even more ridiculous. You put a pee tree in the house, put paper items under the tree, put balls on the tree, and you actually expect us to leave it alone? Its like putting steak on the tree with hooks and saying "don't touch that". Humans are so silly, they expect everyone to abide by their silly rules.

"Don't chew on the cord that runs from the hole in the wall to the tree."

Once again, pee tree in house, water in bucket to hold pee tree, attach electrical things to pee tree, plug pee tree in... does anyone else see a problem here? Does is take a very pretty and fluffy husky to point out the electrocution hazard of this?

"Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. Be patient, even if unknowing strangers sit on YOUR couch and do NOT drink out of glasses that are left within your reach."

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! First of all, every husky by now should know that no matter how hard the humans clean to get ready for guests, they must immediately sit and roll on all furniture to redistribute the hairs that were vacuumed up. We don't mind if strangers sit on our furniture, because we're too busy laughing at all the fur stuck to their fancy clothes. Secondly, anything in our reach is for us, thems the rules, so if we happened to get sloshed on human holiday drinks, then its the human's fault, not ours.

"Do NOT eat off the buffet table."

Like we're going to believe this one came from a dog's point of view? Its a BUFFET table! Here's the definition of Buffet: A buffet is a meal-serving system where patrons serve themselves. PATRONS, doesn't say where only people serve themselves, it says PATRONS and as far as I'm concerned, huskies are patrons and can help themselves to some tasty eats.

"A big man with a white beard and a red suit may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. Whatever you do DON'T BITE HIM!"

Once again, the humans just don't get the whole concept of christmas and feel the need to warn us about doing something bad to Santa Claws. Oh sure, they spell it Santa Claus, because they're idiots and can't understand that the whole concept of christmas is based on the unconditional love of animals. Its suppose to remind people that throughout the year they are suppose to be kind, understanding, and caring toward all manner of things human, animal, nature. The animals are rewarded for this unconditional kindness and love by Santa Claws, who is actually a dog. Santa Claws travels all over the world and brings treats to all animals and thanks them for putting up with humans putting stupid hats on them, or tying them to a tree, or not playing with them enough, or not rubbing their belly, or any of the things that silly humans do.

So, the next time your human comes home and gloats about stealing a parking spot at the mall, or complains about something, just sit there and wag your tail and smile, because you know who actually understands the true meaning of christmas and who will be rewarded for it... by way of humans leaving tasty egg nog and buffet goodies within easy reach.

Happy Howlidays

Meeshka

Thursday, December 08, 2005

My Tummy is Upset!

I've apparently eaten something that doesn't agree with me. This is a very BAD thing.
It started last night, and I would think that the human woman would have noticed because I was being frisky, happy, and chased Sam all around the yard only to attack and chew on him. I didn't want to come inside either.

Even though we went to "bed bed" (the human woman says that, all cute, as if we're too stupid to understand just bed, she has to say it twice), I tried to tell her that I was uncomfortable, but she just rolled over and went back to sleep. I vowed to show her, and waited until midnight before DEMANDING that I go out. Of course everyone had to go out then.

The human woman didn't come home for lunch as usual, but the human man did, and he always feeds us more than the human woman (and then he complains to the human woman about how fat we're getting). She did come home around 4pm, and its a good thing too because I had to GO! I didn't even want my cheese treat, which was a sure sign to the human woman that I was in dire need to go out. Painful, that's all I want to say about it. I acted all pitiful and cried, not only for the attention (which I got) but it was very uncomfy.

Of course I have tons of energy and managed to evade the human woman when she tried to give me some of that pink stuff from the tube. She ended up pushing a pill of some kind down my throat. The bonus part was that she made me rice to eat with my tasty Blue Buffalo food (Blue Buffalo foods, the choice of Meeshka... hey, its tasty, and good for me, so I'll give them a plug... you should make your human go and buy the canned salmon food... to beg for!).

Anyhoo, I'm outside in the cold again... loving that cold. The weather idiots say we're suppose to get snow, but they're wrong, I can feel it in my fur. All the hoopla for nothing or very little snow is what I predict... hope I'm wrong, I also hope I can keep dinner in long enough to nap.

Meeshka (gurgle)

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Human Woman not paying attention to me again

The human woman is up to something again that is taking her precious time away from me.

I think I heard her say something about "volunteering", which is NEVER a good thing. I thought I also heard her say something about "rescue" which better not mean more of those needy gimpy dogs coming to live here, I barely have enough room on the bed as it is.

She spends most of her home time on the computer, and we all know what the lawyer said about me getting equal time on the computer, so I'm going to have to get ahold of the lawyer and complain AGAIN. She's creating a Web site (once again, not about me at all), and manipulating pictures of dogs (once again, not ME) and putting them on this Web site.

Sure, she finally got around to creating my merchandise (you can buy authentic Meeshka gear if you click on the link to the right that says buy your Meeshka gear here, all proceeds go toward maintaining my fluffiness and helping the HULA cause), but she isn't doing what I want her to do, which is feed me human food, scratch my belly, and wait on me hand and foot.

I've even been stomping my feet and demanding that she take me out and play with me... actually I make her take me out and then she runs around and makes strange noises and flails in a pathetic attempt to get me to play, which is very amusing actually, but she just tosses us all outside and expects us to play without an audience.

So please, I beg of you, save me from more gimpy needy rescue dogs and go out to: Harnessed to Hope Northern Breed Rescue site and tell your humans to adopt them, so they don't come here... I really don't care about you and your potential suffering from lack of attention once those rescue dogs invade your house... what is important is ME! Don't forget that.

Meeshka

Monday, December 05, 2005

Snow, glorious SNOW!!

When the human woman let us out tonight, it was snowing.

I love snow. Snow is not only cool and soothing, but tasty too!

Since I am a husky (and a cute and fluffy one at that), I love the snow (except if its wet snow, then I don't like my dainty feet to get too wet), but I'll just lay out in that stuff forever... except the human woman won't let us.

I'd rather sleep in the snow rather than in that hot bedroom, but the human woman (once again) won't allow us to stay out all night. I guess that's good, since we are pampered, spoiled huskies, but it would be nice to lay out there all night in the snow just once... stalk the little critters that come out only at night for a late snack.

Sam doesn't like the snow as much. He's got that bionic hip, so he likes to lay in the sun and bask in the heat. He's a loon.

Loki likes to lay in the snow, but he prefers laying in the pee leaf pile of snow. He's weird.

When we come inside, all covered with snow, the human woman gets the rough towel out and wipes us all down. I don't mind that actually. Being fluffy it takes a long time for me to dry, and she's very good at wiping off my feet, which I offer her daintily one at a time. She is diligent about making sure my dainty little feet are clean and dry, which I appreciate. I'd rather she leave the snow on the rest of me, its nice and cool, but she doesn't like wet huskies.

Even though it is snowing tonight, its still a bit muddy out there, so we all made sure that we got good and muddy feet, then came racing inside, ignoring the human woman to come back and get dried off, then we ran up the stairs and jumped on the bed... where the human man was laying... we didn't see him there. He wasn't at all thrilled with having us stomp on him with our muddy feet, but we did manage to leave our prints all over the covers. I'm so pleased.

Well, another busy husky day today, for which I'm exhausted, and more snow to play in tomorrow, so its off to bed on the muddy comforter.

good night, and happy snow

Meeshka

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Report from a miffed off Human



I'm happy to report that huskies from around the world are taking over their humans' computers in order to read my words of wisdom.


This picture shows loyal reader Cheyenne, who took advantage of her human leaving her chair and taking control of the computer. You can sorta see on the computer screen MY BLOG!

Good work Cheyenne! Get a sip of that taco bell cup while you're at it, you deserve it. One little coup for huskies! And good job ignoring the human woman when she told you to get down.

Apparently the humans just don't understand that the blog is for huskies, not humans. At the very least they should type in the URL (since our paws are not designed for these stupid human keyboards), move out of the chair, leave their goodies on the table and leave us alone to read!

I'm honored that you are a fan Cheyenne, and keep up the good husky work!

Meeshka

Me and the Mutatoe



Although I should be flattered that Loki wants to be just like me (and who wouldn't), sometimes it gets to be a burden.



For instance, he poses. Although he's not fluffy by any stretch of the imagination, he's got that gimpy paw, and he's puppylike and bouncy. The human woman would always take more pictures of me, because I'm so cute and fluffy, and I would accomodate her with posing majestically (which doesn't take a lot of work for me, that's just how I am naturally). Now, all that mutant pawed gimpy has to do is look cute (and he does it almost as effortlessly as I look cute and fluffy), and she's not taking pics of me anymore, she's taking pics of him!

He also shamelessly puts himself into cute positions just to make her bring out the camera. Here I am, laying on the floor looking adorable, and she's sneaking off with the camera because Loki has contorted himself into some impossible cute position! The nerve of him for taking away my attention.

He's also very sneaky. He'll do whatever I tell him to do, like stretch up and get some leftover biscuits from the top of the stove thing, but then he won't share! That means I have to go tattle on him to the human woman and then nobody gets anything, but its better than him getting it all!

Even Sam has started tattling on the mutant gimpy. This morning Loki got a thing called a "glue pen" off the kitchen table and started eating it without sharing. Sam was so upset that he went to the human woman and stared at the doorway. Sam hasn't quite gotten the whole woo woo stomp of feet angrily sign down for "Loki has something tasty and won't share". Sam stares. He doesn't like to be a bother, so he'll just sit and stare at something until he gets it. Luckily the human woman noticed the stare (I was off napping at the time) and got the glue pen from evil non-sharing Loki.

To show how funny Sam is, yesterday he went venturing through the back room instead of coming into the house, and the human woman locked him back there. Of course there are all sorts of neat things to sniff and pee on back there, so I'm sure he was happy for a while... but then realized he had been forgotten. This is what happens when you don't assert yourself, stomp your feet and woo for what you want!

After about a half hour of nobody missing him (poor Sam), the human woman thought it odd that he wasn't laying behind her in his usual spot. Loki and I didn't say anything because frankly, no Sam means more treats for us, but the human woman noticed, and figured out where he must be and let him out. There he was... sitting and staring at the door, willing it to come open for him. I'm sure when it did, he believed that his staring made the door open (much like he thinks his "bionic hip" makes him stronger and faster).

Sigh. Dealing with two simple minded step-brothers can be so tiring for me!

Meeshka

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Tug O' Loki



Sam and I played our favorite game this morning: Tug O' Loki.



That little gimpy mutant paw puppy is quite fast, so first you have to catch him. I make Sam chase him around the yard and tire him out first. They'll chase and wrestle, and go on, but the moment Sam nabs and pins him, I'm right there for some fun.

There's really no need for me to work up a sweat chasing him around, I just wait until he's pinned, then join in on the fun.

The human woman always tells us not to make him "squeek", because sometimes we just get so carried away, we forget he's a husky and try to rip him to pieces (which he loves, don't let him fool you into believing he's not having fun), but we've learned that if we make him squeek, he gets very angry.

I've also discovered another game which is quite fun. Its called "sit at the top of the stairs and wait for Loki to try to jump over me so I can grab him and slam him to the floor". OOOH that's great fun! Very little exertion on my part. I just crouch at the top of the stairs and wait until Loki thinks he can dash up the stairs and jump over me. You should hear the thump when I slam him to the ground.

We're all very tired now from playing, so its time for our nap.

Meeshka

Friday, November 25, 2005

Just another exciting day



Today was just another exciting day.

Was I taken to go shopping with the humans? No
Was I taken anywhere by the humans? No



What did I do for what seemed like forever? I napped in my crate with an insufficient Kong bone filled with liver whiz (not enough liver whiz) and a measly cookie, and the humans went "shopping".

Did they bring me back anything? No, not unless you count the full sized mirror they put up on the bedroom door, so now I can stand and gaze upon my beauty for as long as I want. I do admit that its nice to gave at myself when I want to. Perfectly fluffy, perfectly beautiful, but I'd rather go for a "ride" or get some new kind of treat.

They came back all tired and stressed out because apparently every human in the world went shopping today for some reason. You would think they would learn and not go out to these places. Its like all dogs in the world standing in line to mark one tree. There are more trees and other days to pee, why stand in line? Seems a waste of time to me, especially since they should have been home scratching my fluffy belly and feeding me salmon.

They tried to bribe us for missing lunch by feeding us more of that human turkey food. I don't think some morsels of turkey is enough apology, so I've made sure to claw the human woman's leg a lot and make her run up and down the stairs taking us outside, then waiting 5 minutes and howling to be let in, only to start over after 5 minutes inside. They'll never learn their place at this rate.

Meeshka

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Are you looking at me? Are you looking at ME?



Well, you should be, cuz I'm cute and fluffy, and now full of turkey.

Once a year ONLY once a year the humans give us human food. Oh, they gourge themselves on a whole bunch of goodies, while we're locked outside in the cold, and what do we get? Little bits of turkey in our food at dinner. Where's my mashed potatoes? Where's MY stuffing? Where's MY devilled eggs?



Ok, guess I shouldn't complain, at least they give us something, but of course, its not enough for me. I'm cute and fluffy and it takes good nutricious human food to maintain such fluffiness. I'm sure they aren't going to share those two pumpkin pies that just came out of the oven.

I just have to take a moment from talking about myself to ask why Loki insists on dragging the pee pads the humans put down for the old Nova guy, and sleep on them. Why? I guess its the same reason he pees on leaf piles and lays in them. That boy is a P...I...G!

Ok, I have to go sniff around the oven and convince Loki to stretch his mutant body up on the oven and get one of those pumpkin pies down so i can eat it. He may be a pig, but his stretching ability does come in handy when I need it.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Me and the Old Guy Nova



Since he hates having his picture taken, I wanted to share this moment with everyone, me and the old guy Nova.


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Ever Vigilent



First of all, I wanted to send my condolences to Susie Lockheed on the passing of Sam, the World's Ugliest Dog.

Its dogs like Sam that make me look so much better, but in a moment of weakness I'll admit that even the ugly ones need love, moreso than us cute and fluffy ones (of which I'm the cutest and fluffiest).

Today's lesson is being vigilent. One must never allow something to be taken away from you, no matter how sneaky or cunning the other dog thinks he is. I'm talking of course about Loki, that bed hog, cushy stealing mutant pawed puppy.



I have a red cushy pillow in the living room. Its mine. I don't use it, but its mine. Its there when I need it and want to lay on it, I just choose not to need it or lay on it unless someone else wants it or lays on it.

That's the problem right there. Loki seems to think that the cushy pillow is now his because I didn't happen to be laying on it. He throws himself on it, lounges around on it, sprawls on it, puts his fur on it, and drools on it. ON MY RED CUSHY PILLOW!

Fortunately for me, Loki loves to drink gallons of water. The pup is just a gimpy camel, he drinks so much water, and because he drinks so much water, he always has to go outside.

The other day he was laying on the pillow and I wanted to lay on the pillow, so I woo'd and pranced and stomped my feet until the human woman got tired of me clawing her leg and told me to go outside. Did I go outside? Oh no! I waited until the human woman started down the stairs, at which point gimpy boy takes off to go pee. I immediately reclaimed my red cushy pillow and lounged upon it.

I wanted to lay there on the pillow until Loki came back in, just to show him who was boss, to show him who owned the red cushy pillow ME!

sigh... he took a long time out there, and I got bored, so I went to get a drink of water, and when I got back that little interloper had come back inside, and threw himself on the pillow again.

I get no respect in this house.

Meeshka

Friday, November 18, 2005

I just wanna be outside now



The human woman just doesn't seem to understand that now that its cool out, I just wanna lay outside.



I'm fluffy, which is very hot sometimes. The humans, devoid of fur, cover themselves with things called clothes, which require a lot of washing and maintaining, but are good for rubbing fur on.

They keep the house at a ridiculous temperature, then put on more clothes, or take more clothes off, depending on if they're too hot or too cold.

We don't have a choice in the matter, we're at their whim when it comes to house temperature (mainly because the temperature thing is located up on the wall and there's nothing near it for us to climb on to change it). We can't simply take off our fur when the humans want it warm in the house, although the humans claim that there's more hair on their clothes than on us, the liars.

So, now that its nice and cool out, i want to spend more time outside, lounging on the cool concrete, or digging a nice cool hole to lay in. The human woman rakes leaves into a pile, which Loki like to burrow in, make a nest. I don't like the leaves, especially because he and Sam pee on them, then lay in them. They're typical goofy males.

Despite my insistance that I want to lay outside, the human womand DRAAAGS us back inside, where I'm forced to woo, prance, stomp my cute little feet, then finally claw her leg to get her attention and let me out again.

You would think that she would learn just to leave us out there, especially while we nap.

Do you smell snow in the air? I don't. The weathe report did say something about "flurries" after the big turkey day feast, but the human woman is right in one thing at least... those high paid nutcase weathermen don't know anything.

Meeshka
I'm basking in cool

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Thelma update



Hey Every husky,

I just got an update from Thelma. If you recall, Thelma didn't like to pull the sled so her human threatened to KENNEL her while the others went off to play and visit new places.



Here is her update:

Hi Meeshka,
The humans tricked me again!!!!

If you recall, I am the husky who is the fastest and most agile of all the huskies who live here (and there are LOTS of them, what with all those "foster" dogs coming and going) and my human decided I should haul her butt around on a sled all winter. I wanted to just run free through the woods but she would absolutely not agree to this. I am still steaming about that, actually-there are so many things to chase in the woods after all. But she said either I do it on the "trail" in a "harness" or I stay at home.

You wisely advised me to go along with her devious plan and pretend I was a sled dog until we went on that trip and then pull a Siberian strike and refuse to pull.

Well, here is where the trickery comes in. Somehow, some way that woman got me to love pulling. I do not know how it happened. I started out all wary and giving the evil eye and trying to back out of my harness and then all of a sudden we are flying down the road and I am having the time of my life! I can't help it-when she pulls out the harnesses I pretty much go bonkers and step into the harness all by myself (and this is just wrong-any Siberian KNOWS you have to refuse to give paws and twist your head when you are being harnessed!) And once I am hooked up on the "line", I just jump for joy and scream to go go go. I cannot help myself.

I have no idea what mind trick she is playing on me, but I now cannot wait to run in harness. She tells me I am a little dynamo and a pulling machine and the best sled dog she has next to Tag (oh, he SO lords it over me that he is in lead and I am back in the line, but we all know the wheel dogs are the most important) and she says I am going to be racing in her "A" team this year!

Looks like the humans won this round. But let me tell you, losing is sure proving to be lots of fun.

Here is a picture of me from Boot Camp, which btw, is a totally misleading name. I did not get ONE boot to chew the entire time. I am the gorgeous grey girl on the right in the picture. Notice my pretty blue harness, please. It compliments me well, don't you think?

Thelma

I'm sure somewhere the Liver Crack Whiz comes to play in this dastardly plot.

Meeshka
Too fluffy and pretty to pull anything

Monday, November 14, 2005

Devious Loki



The mutant pawed gimpy has devised an evil plot to get us to play with him. Both Sam and I are tired of playing with him all the time. He's like the energizer bunny, play, play, play all the time, non-stop, he never gives up.



I'm cute and fluffy and I can't be chasing him all the time, plus he grabs my delicate tail to make me slow down (as I am gazelle like in my running). Sam gets worn out, plus with all his "bionic hip" bravado, he's just not as fast now that he's 4.

So, the evil little puppy keeps us from our dinner! We'll be outside, and the human woman will come out and announce that our dinner is ready. Of course Sam and I rush in, but Loki dances about, skitters around the yard, play bowing and looking all cute, and refuses to come in.

Sigh.

No amount of calling by the human woman will get him inside, he just dances around, wiggles his butt and wants someone to play with him.

FINE, Sam and I both go out and try to explain to him that we're hungry, we want to eat, but we're not getting fed until EVERYONE is inside. He just laughs at us, dances away, play bows.

Sam will chase after him, trying to herd him back inside. I'll even go after him, but he darts behind the tree, or he'll hide under the new deck stairs and refuses to come in. This can go on for hours if we don't catch him and drag him back inside the house.

Sam got a great idea tonight though, fooled that devious Loki. Sam acted as though he wasn't looking, so Loki went to attack him. Sam raced around the yard with Loki chasing him, then raced straight into the house. He was totally fooled and rather upset that the game was over, but we got to eat.

Tonight I'm going to take his spot at the foot of the bed and not give it back. We'll see who laughs now!

Meeshka
Don't ever call me late for dinner!

Friday, November 11, 2005

The Human Woman is trying to trick me

I've been merrily posting away on my blog using an interface that the human woman gave me to make posting easier.
Right, apparently all of my words of wisdom have been floating away in cyberspace (or is that Siberspace) and not getting posted.

I'm so mad right now!

I posted really funny things too, but its gone, all gone.

Ok, lets see:

I was invited to a play date with some of my local husky pals (who I've never gotten to meet yet) for this weekend, but unfortunately the humans say that I can't go. They suck. Apparently there is this thing called "dog flu" going around, and if it wasn't for the old guy Nova, they would just throw our health to the winds and let us go (so they say) but since there is a risk of us bringing something bad back that would make the old guy sick or worse... we're not allowed to go play with other dogs until either they come up with a vacine, or... well, lets not go there.

Since they wouldn't let me go on the play date, I sat around and sulked for most of the day yesterday and today, but amazingly enough... they got my harness and leash and they actually took me in the truck! I thought for sure that we'd be going to the evil vet, but my skin allergies haven't come in yet, so I had no idea what was up.

We drove for a while and finally came to this thing called a "park" and it had leaves, trees, squirrels, geese (I hate geese, the geese fly over head and they honk and I stomp my tiny, delicate little feet and tell them to go away), ducks and swans. Of course the humans wouldn't let me "play" with the geese, ducks, and swans, or the squirrels either, which was no fun. We did walk through the leaves and that was fun. I pooped in the leaves to the humans had to clean it up, and of course peed on the leaves so that other dogs would know that it was MY park.

By the time we walked all over the park, I was very tired. As we walked up to the truck we saw a malamute being walked with his leash of oppression, but I was just so tired from our walk that I jumped into the truck and demanded to be taken home.

Meeshka
I'm very sleepy now

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Family Portrait



Yeah, yeah, its been awhile again, but I'm a busy dog with lots of things to do, like nap, and eat, and look cute and fluffy.

Here's a "family portrait" for everyone. Its about as good as we'll ever get, since the old guy Nova is morbidly afraid of cameras. Starting at the top left, that's old guy Nova, I'm under the desk in my rightful spot, Loki (the mutant) is near the bottom right, and of course, the amazing Sam.



I've heard a lot of reports that the humans dressed up huskies for a social event that they call "Halloween". Apparently the gist of that event is to dress up as something else, then go begging from door to door for food. Of course they don't share any of this food, but they do insist on dressing huskies up in ridiculous costumes to help them get more food. Who can resist a cute, fluffy husky dressed as something stupid?

Now that this silly little event is over, the humans are now plotting and planning their festive Holiday season. I know that turkey day is coming soon. I love turkey day. In my house (and it is MY house) the human woman slaves away all day in the kitchen and then eventually we get goodies. We tend to get goodies for a good week after the turkey day, so I declare that turkey day is the best holiday for huskies.

After turkey day is usually when the snow comes. I can't wait for the snow. I love the snow. They celebrate something else, but I could care less, as long as there is snow. Who could want anything more than snow. Even the humans seem to want the snow. They watch the tv and shout with glee when some idiot in a suit announces something called "closings". Huskies also like "closings" because that means we can go out and play in the snow more.

Well, the human woman changed the sheets on the bed again, just when I got them all nice and gritty. I have to go mess up the bed and get the sheets dirty again, just the way I like them.

Good night.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Husky Hall of Fame



Today's Hall of Fame winner is:

ISIS!



Congratulations Isis. Your work is certainly recognized and admired in the husky world.

Eating a couch while still a foster dog, and STILL looking so cute and fluffy that they humans adopted you.

Eating a battery, very brave of you!

Eating the entire contents of a bag of gummy dog vitamins and causing your human great anguish and worry. Using your pitiful looks to get your human to go pick grass for you to eat and horka, then refusing to horka and forcing the human to take you to the vet where you were admired and petted.

These actions show the best of husky spirit, cunning, and deviousness.

For this, you are admitted into the Husky Hall of Fame!

Send your entries into the husky hall of fame by e-mailing me at:

meeshkaworld@gmail.com

Maybe your picture and name will get posted and you will be added to the Husky Hall of Fame.

Meeshka

There is Hope

After hearing how huskies all over were being controlled by the evil crack whiz (I have more evidence to publish soon), I'm regaining some hope over the stories of misbehaving and deviousness that are coming through the grapevine.

One fine example is HULA member Malkin, who managed to not only to shut himself in a room, but also shove a broom against the door, causing his human frustration and pain trying to get him out. Fine work Malkin.

Another fine example of husky behavior comes from Frosty, who not only locked herself in the bathroom, but also turned on the shower and flooded the bath tub and floor. WAY TO GO FROSTY!

A past example (although she has now come under the spell of crack whiz) was Isis, who while licking the dirty dishes turned on the kitchen faucet and flooded the human's kitchen and other areas.

Isis has since redeemed herself for the crack whiz habit by eating an entire bag of gummy dog vitamins and causing her human no end of stress and anguish while trying to find out if this was a bad thing. After acting somewhat sickly, Isis managed to get her human to go out and pick grass for her to eat to horka, and then forced the human to take her to the vet where she was diagnosed as being cute, fluffy and perfectly fine. WAY TO GO ISIS!!!

I must admit that we are doing our part as well causing chaos and panic. Last night the human man left a small plate of Hotters spicy chicken wings on the counter, where Loki got some of them and ate them. Of course we were all in the kitchen and wouldn't admit to eating them, so the humans fed us all bread and an early dinner, called the Husky Emergency doctors and practically stuffed us with all sorts of foods.

Today Loki confessed by pooping, but what fun it was because the humans not only came home once today to feed and treat us, but twice!

Please continue to give me hope that not all huskies have been brainwashed like lemmings. Send in your evil, devious stories to share with everyone else, and show them how GOOD huskies really behave.

Almost proud
Meeshka

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Brain Suck is Worse Than I Thought

Every Husky:

I am dismayed at the reports coming in. Over and over again, huskies are reporting that evil treats are being used to manipulate and control us.

Malkin has been taken over with fresh salmon filets. That's really low of the humans.

Kamiko confesses shame in bowing down to the human power with only a piece of cheese! CHEESE! Can you believe it. Broken their spirit to the point where simple cheese will make them do their bidding.

Kody tries to fool us with "sacrificing" in the name of research, but we all know the weakness we all face from the constant barrage of mind altering treats.

Kota was powerless to refuse a piece of pizza crust!

I'm also sad to report that the Cape Cod Battalion has been thoroughly brain washed and should not be trusted until they've been through a reprogramming course. They tried to justify their bowing to the leash of oppression, reciting the human's excuses "oh, you have it so good you dogs, you sleep all day and don't pay taxes while we work and work" Yes, because that is how it SHOULD be silly humans.

Their reference to our being "working dogs" further cements the evidence that they are out of control. That label is a human label for us, not one of our choosing. We do not CHOOSE to be hooked to a sled to run! Why should we pull the humans in order to run like we want to?

We need demonstrations of revolt! We need to show the humans that we are not their pawns, willing to sit and down for a squirt of Crack Whiz or cheese.

Chew some shoes, destroy their papers, mark the white ceramic water dish and refuse to poo outdoors. It's time for a coup! We must act now!

Meeshka

Friday, October 21, 2005

Another Victim of Crack Whiz



Despite the addiction of her brothers, Amber held out as long as she could, but now as you can clearly see... she too has fallen under the spell of Crack Whiz.



The Army of Four has fallen, is there hope for the rest of us?

Meeshka

The Dangers of Crack Whiz

Friends,

There is an insidious evil creeping among us. The humans have a new secret weapon in trying to control us. This is much worse than the leash of oppression.

You may be asking yourself, "what could be worse than the leash of oppression?"

I'm about to tell you. But first you must be prepared to trust me on this, and not fall for the evilness if offered to you. Oh, you say to yourself that you will be strong and you will not be tempted by it... but you will, and it will snare you and not let you go.

The threat to our freedom, the threat to our goal to take over the world....

CRACK WHIZ!

Oh sure, the humans will tell you that its just a treat, much like the other treats they bribe you with. They'll take out that can, spray a little on their finger and offer it to you. You will be drawn to it by its smell, a delicious, taunting smell. You'll tell yourself that you can handle it. Nothing can sway you from your mission to take over the world. You'll taste it, and you can kiss your free will good-bye.

The Crack Whiz comes in two tantilizing and brain washing flavors: liver and peanut butter. Oh the horror!

You will find yourself craving the Crack Whiz. Begging your human to give you more. Doing cute tricks to get a squirt from the can, obeying their every word, just for one little squeeze of the trigger.

Look at this picture! LOOK AT IT! The Army of Four were brave soldiers of HULA (Husky United Liberation Army), fighting for the cause, creating chaos and discord with their humans, using mind control to get fresh fruit. Now they are mere automatons, begging for a squirt of the Crack Whiz, sucking on the very instrument that will cause the destruction of their free will. Pathetic.



RISE UP HUSKIES! Heed to my words of warning and scorn the Crack Whiz! Recognize that can and its contents and do everything in your power to not fall under its horrible power.

Warn the rest of the huskies and learn from this picture, or you too will become obediant, suck up lap dogs!

My name is Meeshka, and I am a Liver Crack Whiz-aholic.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Nurse Meeshka



The human woman didn't feel good today, so it was my sworn duty as a husky to make her feel better.

She told us that she had a MYgrain, which I think is very selfish, calling an illness all yours, what if someone else wanted it?

Typically when she has her selfishgrain moments, she likes to lay in the bed in a strange position with all the lights off, have it very quiet in the room, no disturbances. Being huskies, we're very accomodating if we're also in the mood to nap, but after a while, we get bored and need some fun.

After one nap, she was suppose to be up and tending to our needs, but no, she still had this thing and tried to go back to bed AGAIN. I'm sorry, but I'll have none of that! I wanted to be petted and scratched. My needs were not being attended to. I gave her a whole hour to get over this thing, now its my turn for some much needed attention!

Oh sure, at first she flailed a bit when I wormed my slightly damp (its still raining heeee) fuzzy body under her arm, then under her whole body and threw her to the side. She even made a high pitched keening noise when I clawed her head a few times. It sure was fun bouncing away from the flailing arm that time.

She finally felt much better when I stood on her back and bounced up and down a few times, jumped right out of that bed and chased me down the stairs. See! I cured her!

I guess all of those articles about the healing quality of dogs are correct. Next time she has one I'm thinking of just sitting right on her head for a while.

Dr. Meeshka

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Water falls from sky

I was highly inconvenienced last night and this morning by the fact that water was falling from the sky. This hasn't happened in quite some time, and I'm sure the human woman has something to do with it because she always announces upon opening the door "Yes, I know its raining, but you have to go out anyway".

Are you kidding me? She doesn't do her business in the rain, why should we? I think its not too much to ask for a little poop shelter in the yard where we can concentrate on our business without water squishing down our ears. Of course we would all need our own private little poop shelters, as I would never think of using Sam's or Loki's private poo areas.

I have also never understood the human's use of a perfectly good water bowl to do their business in.

The one good thing about this rain business (which the human woman refuses to stop at the moment) is that when she does stop it, there will be plenty of glorious mud for us to dig in. The ground has been oh so hard and dirty lately, too hard to dig with my tender little feet, and there haven't been any good bugs or grubs to dig up either. I'm sure now there will be, as soon as the water stops falling from the sky.

I'll be sure to post some pictures of our mud fun then.

Yours in mud
Meeshka

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Sorry for the Lull

Meeshka here!

Sorry for the lull, its been a very busy month around here what with people coming to visit us all the time.

For five whole days we had visitors known as "the in-laws" come and stay with us. They didn't quite know what to make of us at first, what with my stand up claw their back greeting, and Loki hitting them with the mutant paw, Sammy leaping on them with joy. We like visitors, but they seemed not so keen to play with us. They smelled old too, so we stopped clawing and just sniffed them a lot.

Our routine was so totally thrown out of whack during this month. We didn't get to eat out on the deck with the visitors, and these visitors would hide when they ate sometimes, which is so totally not fair. We spent some time in our crates while they went places (once again, so totally not fair), but the visitors have gone and we're getting back into a normal routine, and its about time.

The human woman actually had time to play with us a few times today, in between our naps. We got fed on time (although the amount was still not to my standards), and the human woman even played "gingerbread Shmoo" with me (her name for it, not mine), where I pretend like I want to go outside, but then at the last minute I dash around her and throw myself on the couch. She comes up and squishes me into the couch and I bit her (ok, not hard or anything). It was great fun to play that again.

I'm glad the visitors are gone, its very tiring to keep track of 4 people, especially when they never seemed to be in one place at one time. All that running up and down the stairs to make sure nobody was eating or doing fun things without us. We've slept a lot today, trying to catch up on our napping.

Ok, its off for a quick nap before bed time, so I'll be back online more, now that things are getting back to normal.

Meeshka

P.S. I don't know if I have to warn you, but its getting cold out, which means its about time for the annual "put a stupid hat on your husky" season... BEWARE!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Important Dietary Supplement



Feeling lethargic?
No energy?

You are probably suffering from a lack of paper and cardboard!



All huskies require a certain amount of fiber in their diet on a daily basis. The humans think that the food they plop out of a can or from a bag will provide you with all of the essential nutrients you need in order to survive. THEY ARE WRONG!

The humans think that we just enjoy ripping apart and eating bits of paper and cardboard, but instinctually, we know that we need this in order to maintain our health and vitality. I'm sure its even good for our cute, fluffy coats as well.

Its perfectly clear in this picture, that I'm eating and ripping apart the cardboard (hoarding some in my toy cage for later) not out of a need to "play". Toys are scattered around me for the playing. Its simply because huskies need cardboard and paper for their very survival.

Even huskies that are fed raw meat and bones (you are so lucky) require a portion of cardboard and paper in their diets. Keeps us regular, and creates some really nice poop sculptures in the yard.

It is up to you to find enough cardboard and paper to survive and thrive. I suggest that you find these items on tables and desks where they are plentiful. Envelopes are especially tasty (that nice minty part) and the humans will thank you, especially if it contained a bill, or final notice or something.

If your human mentions "school" this is a bad thing that keeps them from petting you, so your source of fiber should come from books or papers they spend hours on. Once you eat it, they have no choice but to spend their time with you!

So, check out the tables and desks for good sources of fiber. Your human will thank you later by stroking your cute fluffiness!

Another helpful Meeshka tip.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Those Gimpy Dogs



The human woman has been spending a lot of time on the computer (and not letting me blog like the lawyer said she had to). She says it is for a good cause, but the only good cause I can think of is her making a Web site exclusively of me... which she's not doing.

No, she's making a site for gimpy dogs. She says that gimpy dogs like Sam (see picture of his hip replacement recovery... check out the goofy haircut, what a poodle husky), Loki, and old blind geezer Nova are "special" dogs that need "special" care.



What about me? I'm hungry, I need some special dinner! I get skin allergies in the fall, has anyone checked the calendar lately?

The human woman says that a lot of husky owners ask questions about stuff that's wrong with their huskies, and they need a good place to find out information and talk to others that have the same problems. Ok, this is a good thing, especially if it means that the human woman has more time to pet me and wait on me hand and foot. There are also other types of dogs (like we huskies care about them) that need information too.

She says she'll be done in a week or two with the web site. Not soon enough I say. I also find it hard to believe that she's not charging anyone for all of this good information and help. How is she suppose to support my Greenie habit if she doesn't charge?

She wants people to help her spread the word about their gimpy dogs with uplifting gimpy dog stories (oh puhleeze), and help other gimpies get adopted (warning to everyone: this means they're coming to your home, so get ready to share the bed). How gimpy dogs are perfectly normal (except they tend to look so pathetic they suck all of the goodies away from us perfectly normal dogs).

Sigh. She's on a roll, I can't stop her except for short periods where I rake my razor-like nails on her bare leg.

Anyone want a seasonal skin allergy cute fluffy husky? Must not own any other pets of any kind, as I require your undivided attention 24 hours a day (and a king size bed of my own).

Meeshka (the ignored)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Feed Me



The humans just don't feed us enough. Sure, three times a day is good, but the portions are too small, and they don't include the tasty items they cook on the grill.

They are so cruel. They cook on the grill, but won't let us out on the deck when they do. We sit and stare out the door, watching the food being cooked, then they eat it in front of us. So cruel.



The human man is eating in this picture. Even though they never give us any, we have to try to look as pathetic and hungry as possible in the hope that one day, they will drop something. If it happens, I'm right there. Positioned in such a way that I can strike before it hits the floor without a lot of movement involved.

It helps to look incredibly pathetic, except in this case, all it did was get my picture taken.

I'm hungry... feed me!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Humans Won't Go To Work

For some reason, the humans won't go to work and they're totally messing up our schedule.

My life revolves around a very strict routine:

5am awake, out, then breakfast, then a nap with the human in bed

7am we get our kongs and nap in our crates

12pm lunch, out
12:45pm we get our kongs and nap

5pm cheese, out to play
6pm dinner
9:30pm bed time

Sure, sometimes the human woman stays home and sits at the computer all day, but that's fine, we maintain our schedule regardless.

This whole week that Uncle Jack has been here, they get up late (and are cranky when we try to maintain the 5am breakfast rule), they lounge around, sometimes they go out and come back smelling like that Starbucks place they take us to. They eat, we eat, then they lay around some more. Its very disturbing.

Right now I'm lounging on the deck in the shade. Its hard to nap on the deck because there are all these bird things tweeting, and other yappy dogs yapping, and generally too many distractions.

I keep clawing the human woman's bare leg, or try climbing on the table, but she just doesn't get it. I'm out of routine... how do they expect us to live with no schedule?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Make him come out



Uncle Jack is visiting. We like Uncle Jack, we love to jump on him and claw him, he's so much fun!

Bright and early yesterday we were up at our usual time, but Uncle Jack wasn't. He had the gall to close the door of his room too!



I'm trying to peek under the door to see him, and no amount of clawing would get the door open, but it did wake him up, we were able to leap on him.

This morning he forgot to close the door all the way, so after our breakfast, Sam and I got into the room and gave him our rousing "WAKE UP" dance on his chest. He was really happy to see us. You can tell because they make this "AAAAAAARGH" noise when we jump on them!

Comfy bed



Now this is more like it.

Sam is trying out the NEW comfy bed.



It is much bigger than the last bed we use to have, more room to sprawl and the human woman even has some room to stretch out, but we're planning on taking the whole side over anyway, so I hope she doesn't get use to it.

You call this a bed?



So, this is the "bed" that the humans had us sleep on for two nights.



This is a bed? It barely fits Sam and I, and the human woman actually tried to make us get up because she needed to deflate it.

Can't she see we're napping?

The gall.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Donate to Hurricane Relief

Please join me in donating to reputable rescue agencies to help all of those in the south who are suffering after the wrath of Hurricane Katrina.

No matter how small, every little bit helps somewhere, so open your wallets and help those who truly need it the most.

I'm sure all of us that have roofs over our head, electricity and fancy dog treats would volunteer to give those up to allow our humans to take that money and give it to a person who doesn't have that, and in turn those people can get their lives back in order and help the animals down there that have also been left helpless during this time.

thanks

Meeshka

Saturday, August 27, 2005

WHERE'S MY BED??????

Oh, those humans have done it now! That's it, I'm packing my chew bones, kongs, and taking the car and leaving, this is the last straw!

All day today the humans have been sneaking around, at one point they locked us outside for hours while they did devious things in the house.

We all knew something was up, but were not allowed to investigate at all! They even put a bunch of stuff into the upstairs living and gated it off from us so we couldn't investigate it.

If that's not bad enough, OUR BED IS GONE!!!! Oh sure, the humans call it their bed, and those uncomfortable flat things on the floor are suppose to be our beds, but they are delusional.

They took our bed! It's GONE!!! The only thing left in that room are those stupid cushion things and an air mattress. Are they insane? Do they actually expect us to sleep on an air mattress from now on? I don't think so!

Oh, they keep laughing at us and saying a new bed is coming, a better bed, a much bigger bed, but I don't see a bed right now when I need it. How am I to get my beauty sleep?

This is just horrible, I can't believe it! Sigh.

If anyone wants a very cute and fluffy husky, just e-mail me... but you BETTER HAVE A BED!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Distract and Conquer

We just had a lovely case of distract and conquer that required no effort on our part whatsoever.

Food bowls went down, and there's a knock on the door. The human woman goes to answer the door, and Loki, Sam, and I start the race to see who is the fastest eater because Nova has wandered off to help the human woman at the door, leaving his full and tasty food bowl untouched and unguarded!

Loki won, and I'm very disappointed. But on the good side, I heard the human woman tell Loki: "well, you'll certainly get a surprise tonight when that stool softener kicks in".

Note to self: don't touch the old dog's food, there's icky things in it.

Meeshka

Sunday, August 21, 2005

The Art of Skitter


Being the Alpha husky (don't let the humans fool you, they certainly aren't qualified to be Alpha), one of the main tools in your Alpha arsenal is the "Art of Skitter".

You may be wondering why you should skitter. Good question (sigh). As the Alpha, you could simple walk over to the step sibling that has what you want and demand it. If you truly are Alpha, they will give it up, but that's not good enough. You have to be dramatic, dynamic, and flambouyant!

Instead of walking over, start with the low, high pitched keening noise. This is a warning. Those experienced with skittering should simply back away from the object and let you have it.

If they don't, change up to a louder, high pitched wailing noise. This should make the offender pee themselves and hand you the item.

If that doesn't work, then you must change over to a very loud banshee wailing while low crawling at a high rate of speed toward the offender. That gets them every time. They'll run into things in their rush to get away.

Skittering is indeed an art form. Do it wrong and you look really foolish. Do it right, and everything is yours for the taking.

Start out with a good skitter posture.



You need to be laying on your stomach with all 4 feet under you. With a good skitter posture, you don't need to get into position, which means the possibility of losing the tasty item. The offender knows that you're getting into position and could take the tasty item out of skitter range.

The high pitched keening noise is a warning that more is to come. Its easier if they give up quickly, because skittering does take a lot of energy, but it is very impressive. I especially like to do it when I'm laying right under the human woman's desk. You should see her move when I dart from under there.

The skittering prep noise is sometimes confused with the "I want" noise. The skitter noise is more of a "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee", where the "I want" noise (followed by a claw to the bare leg) goes more like "EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr" She jumps at either one, which could possibly throw off my aim during the "I want noise".

By the way, skittering does NOT work with humans, so don't even try it.

Another helpful Meeshka tip

Friday, August 19, 2005

Question for HULA



Ok everyhusky, we have a real puzzler here.

I received the following e-mail from Thelma (it's a bit long, so be patient), who writes:

Hi Meeshka,
I need some advice here and was hoping you and our other HULA members might be able to help.

I did a silly thing. In typical Siberian style, I showed my superior skills at something my human *wanted* me to do so now she expects me to do it all the time!

Let me explain. First, you need to understand that I am fantastically fast and fleet on my feet. Oh, I know this is a Siberian trait but I am EXCEPTIONAL at it. I am the fastest of all the dogs living here except that silly Alaskan. I mean, really-if you made me half greyhound and called me a fancy name I could go faster too I am sure. But I blow all these other Siberians out of the water. So my human hooked me up in something called a "harness" and attached me on some long leash thingy and then she had the gall to tell me to pull while she went for a joy ride on this big tricycle thing behind me. I mean, I did all the work and she was just laughing and having a good old time. But of course I was wonderful at this and just me and Malibu pulled her all over the trails.



So here is the trouble. The tricycle thing slows me down. Big time. And the human makes me go where she wants, these things called trails, not allowing me to go off the "trails" where the really neat stuff is. So I have staged a few, well let's call them, "Siberian strikes" and decided to not really pull but rather just hang around for the ride. She is not happy. She told me that I have a choice. I either decide to pull along with the rest of the team (that strong Tag always shows me up!) or else I will stay home on race weekends while the team goes off on their sledding adventures. I was fine with the staying home thing until she mentioned, gasp, KENNELS! She is going to put me in one her kennels where those "foster dogs" live!!!

Can you believe it? My fancy tushy sitting on concrete rather than a couch??????? For a whole weekend? Oh sure, they are indoor kennels and heated/air conditioned and filled with shavings with dog houses etc etc. But still, me? In a kennel? For a whole weekend???? What is a girl to do?

So, do I cave and be part of the "team" (I am very good at this, remember-I just prefer to run loose which she will NOT allow ever while we are on those "trails") or do I hold my ground and sleep in a, gasp, kennel, for the winter weekends?

Anxiously awaiting your thoughts,
Thelma
Here is a picture of me and Malibu out on the trails one day. I am the stunning beauty on the right. Little blurred, but what can I say? I am fast!

Dear Thelma,

This is EXACTLY why huskies shouldn't do what the humans want us to do! Sure we're born to run, sure we're born to pull them on things, but that doesn't mean you have to do it if you don't want to. Good for you for going on strike, it still proves that you have some power over the humans. Unfortunately, the consequences of your actions is the KENNEL (egad).

You can delay the kennel for one trip by doing this: PULL, pull like you've never pulled before, and gain the human's trust again. She'll take you on this trip, where you can relax and have fun and spread the HULA word to other huskies... then refuse to pull.

Sure she'll be mad, sure she'll threaten you with all sorts of horrible things, but you at least get one good trip out of it.

When you get back from this trip, she probably won't expect you to pull again, but eventually she will, and then you PULL again! Pull like the best of them, and she'll forget your little stint, think you've learned your lesson, and take you on another trip... where you wear your harness with pride, lay down and take a nap and refuse to move.

You can probably milk this for about three trips (humans are forgetful creatures) before you are banished to the KENNEL.

If any HULA members have any other plots, please let Thelma and I know by e-mailing me at: meeshkaworld@gmail.com

Meeshka
Dominating the world one human at a time