Its time that I announced the world's new energy plan.
Big Head Al Gore (BHAG) has decreed that the world will turn into a molten ball of lava goo if we don't use energy saving lightbulbs, and who but a former VP with nothing to do in his life but waste energy should we believe, so we need to start saving energy right now, if only to run our air conditioners full blast when the earth becomes a molten ball of lava goo.
First off, as your queen, I will stop all air travel. Humans are always in such a hurry, time is money, money is time, and if I could save time in a bottle.... but I digress. NO more air travel for business. People don't need to go sniffing each other's butts to do business, they can use a freakin phone or even do that video chat stuff, they don't need to fly to exotic locales and play golf after their vital, earth shattering 15 minute meetings. Vacations should only happen once a year, so people only get to fly somewhere once a year, so you better make it a nice place because you have to wait another year to fly anywhere else. Oh, and when you go on vacation you have to take your pets with you and they sure as hell aren't flying in the cargo hold, they're up in first class sipping pure mud water and rolling in dead thing stuff while you have your knees to your chest in the cheap seats.
No more cars. People can just work at home, doing whatever it is they do at home. Everyone will be given a computer (only macs) when they are born and they better take care of it because that's the only way you'll be able to get food unless you walk to the store and carry it back. Cars are bad for the earth, and for us pups that will be running willy nilly and peeing on everything. I MAY allow those cute scooter things, but only if they have little carts on the back that will pull us along so we can smell the wind.
All houses will have air conditioning (because the earth will be a molten core) and if you are nice, we dogs will let you sleep inside.
So, we've broken our addiction to foreign oil, nobody can get anywhere to do bad things to each other, and since you never have to leave your house you won't need clothes except sleepy pants and t-shirts, and all of that other stuff you buy that never use so all of your work money can be spent on livergreat.
There, I expect this change to be effective immediately.
Meeshka
Big Head Al Gore (BHAG) has decreed that the world will turn into a molten ball of lava goo if we don't use energy saving lightbulbs, and who but a former VP with nothing to do in his life but waste energy should we believe, so we need to start saving energy right now, if only to run our air conditioners full blast when the earth becomes a molten ball of lava goo.
First off, as your queen, I will stop all air travel. Humans are always in such a hurry, time is money, money is time, and if I could save time in a bottle.... but I digress. NO more air travel for business. People don't need to go sniffing each other's butts to do business, they can use a freakin phone or even do that video chat stuff, they don't need to fly to exotic locales and play golf after their vital, earth shattering 15 minute meetings. Vacations should only happen once a year, so people only get to fly somewhere once a year, so you better make it a nice place because you have to wait another year to fly anywhere else. Oh, and when you go on vacation you have to take your pets with you and they sure as hell aren't flying in the cargo hold, they're up in first class sipping pure mud water and rolling in dead thing stuff while you have your knees to your chest in the cheap seats.
No more cars. People can just work at home, doing whatever it is they do at home. Everyone will be given a computer (only macs) when they are born and they better take care of it because that's the only way you'll be able to get food unless you walk to the store and carry it back. Cars are bad for the earth, and for us pups that will be running willy nilly and peeing on everything. I MAY allow those cute scooter things, but only if they have little carts on the back that will pull us along so we can smell the wind.
All houses will have air conditioning (because the earth will be a molten core) and if you are nice, we dogs will let you sleep inside.
So, we've broken our addiction to foreign oil, nobody can get anywhere to do bad things to each other, and since you never have to leave your house you won't need clothes except sleepy pants and t-shirts, and all of that other stuff you buy that never use so all of your work money can be spent on livergreat.
There, I expect this change to be effective immediately.
Meeshka
I think my mum will support that - I mean, she hates to travel for work, only goes on holidays once a year, would love to work from home AND she already has a Mac so we're all set!
ReplyDeleteHuffle Mawson, Honorary Husky and Explorer Cat
Well, we all know how weird my mom is -
ReplyDeleteH&K,
Khyra
PeeEssWoo: Thanks fur the earworm - I think I need some allergy med now too!
As long as the dog food is delivered too, I'm all for it!
ReplyDeleteHolly
I like this plan a lot. Then our Missouri relatives would stop giving Mom guilt trips because she doesn't give us away to the kennel every month to fly to Missouri, spending all our treat money. Under your plan, she could only go there once a year and we would have to go too. They wouldn't want her to come so often if we had to be there too, IN THE HOUSE!
ReplyDeleteSteve